I hate you.

why do you do this to me?

you know I'm falling in love with you.

how can you ignore me. Why? Why do you hurt me so? You say you've thought of me for 17 years? Any yet you finally get what you want and now you're throwing it away. It's not fair. Why am I punished for your cowardice? I'm a good person. I deserve better but what I want is you. I need you to love me. I need you to want me.

Why do you do this to me?

I hate you.

I hate you

I hate you

I hate you

I hate you

I hate you for making me love you.

I get it now

I get it now. You were pushing me away because you were afraid of me. You are just as afraid of me as I am of you. you don't have to be afraid of me. I already love you. don't be afraid to love me. really? you test me? what would I do if you said I'm getting on a plane to come be with you? What time do I pick you up at the airport? That's my answer. you didn't think I would say that did you? Where are you going to live? Well, you'll live with me until we can find a bigger place. What will you do? You'll get a job. And we will be together. That's it. I know you have your reasons for being where you are. That's fine. Take care of your responsibilities. I want you. I need you, but I can wait. I've waited 17 years. I can wait a little longer. Yes I'm greedy. Yes I want it all. But I'm also, kind and patient and I love you so I want whats best for you too. Don't you know what's best for you is me?

I miss your face

I miss your face. Your eyes burrow to my soul. I miss your hands on my skin. In my hair. Your kisses make me smile so much my face hurts! Why are you so far away. Yes I'm a damn sap. what do you want from me. I have loved you since I was 17 years old. It scares me. You scare me. You have lived so much. Experienced so much. I feel like I won't be enough. That you will lose interest in me. I don't want to be so needy, but I need you. I need you to need me. I want to feel your hand on my ass. Your mouth on my pussy. Your cum on my face. I want all of you. I want all of you to want all of me. 

this is insane. 

A dreamworld (Part 1)

I woke this morning after having this dream and I had to write it down. I hope you enjoy it.

As I came awake I realized that I was not in my bed. The darkness was all around me. My body couldn't move. I was on my back, my arms strapped down, my legs strapped down. I can't move, I can't see and the panic was starting to set in. As I started to struggle a cool hand was placed on my belly.

"Stop, you are only going to hurt yourself." The voice was completely foreign to me. As was the touch. His hand started to stroke my skin, gently exploring my belly and up to my breasts. This is when I realized, I was nude. Oh god, what is going on? I'm completely helpless. I don't know who has me. I start to struggle again, the panic running high. I can feel the tears gathering.

"You belong to me" The voice was whispering in my ear. "You are mine, you cannot escape so don't bother trying" I could feel his breath on my face. The kiss was soft and gentle. I felt almost compelled to return it. His hands were big, I could feel them touching my face. As they started to move down my body, he paused. His big hands were wrapped around my throat.

"You belong to me, don't forget that" His hands started to squeeze and the full panic set in. My breathing became labored and wheezy. It felt like an eternity before he released me and walked away. Shaking like a leaf, all I could do was breath and wait.

It's been a while

So, it's been a while since I've posted anything. Sorry about that.

Life is going pretty well with me. My biggest problem right now is I need to cumm!

anyone want to help me out with that?

honesty, the debate

So, I got into this conversation with a friend of mine about honesty. See I'm a big fan of being open and honest with people. I mean, I don't walk up to people and give them full disclosure about my life. But when I'm asked or the discussion comes up, let's just say I'm not shy. My friend says I don't need to give full disclosure.

For example. I'm Bi, so if I'm dating a straight guy, why tell him? I think that's ridiculous. I don't want to hide who I am. And I feel like I'm being dishonest and misrepresenting myself.

I'm also an Atheist, I don't require the person I'm dating to be an atheist (though it would be nice) as long as they don't try and convert me. However a large percent of the Americans seem to have some kind of issue with Atheists. So why get emotionally involved in a relationship when it will never work out.

But I'm a good person. I'm Genuine, Caring and respectful. I just don't understand why I can't find that 1 person in 100 who wants me the way I am.

PS. I finished my finals. Got all A's woohoo!

finals

I'm almost done with finals. I think I'm doing pretty good!